SPM

I know the date shouldn't be on above, cause SPM is already OVER. I mean OVER a long time ago. But I wanna take down how I actually can survive through these torturing days...

BEFORE SPM
There was once I was studying sejarah late at night, and I got so frustrated about it as everything I studied couldn't go into my head. I didn't know how to do the subjective and the essay questions in the workbook. I didn't know what happened to myself at that time, maybe too stress, my head got dizzy and painful, suddenly felt really down, really upset, felt like ending everything. And that was only one way, killing myself. That was what in my head. It would be so good if I can escape everything. Can I kill myself. I wanna cry, but no tears were coming out. My, that was the most and the only suffering moment which I'd ever been through.
At last, I forced myself to calm down, and I put a lot of effort on that. Then, I start writing out the sejarah notes, writing hardly on the papers. Soon after that, I felt a lot better.
A few days before SPM, I found a guy, named Andrew Pua's blog. He wrote a lot of good and meaningful things. And I found one of his sentences:
"其实失败是上帝赐给我们的礼物，上帝要透过这方式让我们更加对上帝有信心，同时上帝要我们从挫折中不断的磨练，学习。"
which means failure is a gift from God, through this method, we can be more confident to God, and He wants us to learn from our mistakes and practise more. After I had seen this sentences, I told myself not to be so greedy. Since there was no much time left, I will just have to try my very best. I won't ask for straight A's, I will just try my best. Its okay if I get terrible results, I can at least know where is my best level, and work harder for better level.

DURING SPM
I was really scared on the first day, after that I felt more relax and felt like doing normal exam in the school. And it was not good, I know. After days by days, papers by papers, I actually started to feel so sick of SPM. I was counting down to the end of it. Honestly, that way actually made me feel better and stress-free.